Some things you just aren't supposed to say. We all know what political correctness means. You say something that goes against the prevalent attitudes in the media (yes, the media—not the populace). For example the following sentence, which I wholeheartedly endorse, violates political correctness:

Global warming is poppycock!

Whoops, sorry. I meant climate change. Or is that the climate crisis? I can't keep up! Anyway, you get my point. In ufology, political correctness centers around the nature of the phenomenon. Purely nuts and bolts, or supernatural? UFOs can be both and in fact are supernatural, i.e. paranormal, by their very existence. [See my Backyard Phenomena blog later this week for an explanation of that statement.]

A lot of UFO researchers deny this fact with the same wrath my global warming statement arouses in climate crisis fans. Thus anything that suggests UFOs represent anything other than nuts & bolts creations (don't ask whose creations!) becomes verboten. What three taboo topics incite the most rancor? Everyone will have their own list of personal favorites. Here are mine:

Lisa's Top 3 Forbidden Connections with UFOs

1. Bigfoot—He's big, he's hairy, and he hangs out with ET.

2. Ancient history—Cave paintings and mythology seem rife with UFOs and alien visitors.

3. Evolution—Have ufonauts messed with our DNA?

Each connection has evidence to support it. Notice that I said evidence, not proof. Nobody has proof of anything about UFOs and other paranormal phenomena. Each of the topics above also inspires debate, polite and otherwise.

Most often otherwise. So I'll end with one final request. Can we all act like grown-ups please?

Of course, that request may be about as far-fetched as global warming.

A strange object has just appeared in the skies above you, and looks as if it will land any second. What should you do? Perhaps more importantly, what should never do? In the spirit of lightening up about ufology, I present twin top 3 lists—what to do and what to avoid if you spot a UFO.

Top 3 Best Ways to React to a UFO

1. Clap your hands. The aliens inside their UFO probably can't hear it anyway, so go ahead and express your joy!

2. Get out your Reese's Pieces. Hey, if it was good enough for ET in the movie, surely the real ETs will love it too!

3. Roll out the red carpet. They've come from another planet—welcome them in style!

Top 3 Worst Ways to React to a UFO

1. Run away screaming. You're representing Earth, show a little backbone!

2. Flash your car headlights at the UFO. Great, visitors from another planet show up and you blind them—good job!

3. Shout “Welcome, little green men!” Don't assume ETs share your sense of humor—if they take offense, you could get vaporized!

Next time a strange light pulses in the sky, or a saucer-shaped object flits past you, remember these lists and take heed. You could become our planet's ambassador to... wherever.

Oh, and if you see a book called “To Serve Man”—feel free to run screaming!

Sunday night a new probe landed on Mars. The Phoenix Mars Lander touched down just before 8:00 PM Eastern time. The mission's goal is to study soil samples and search for evidence of water ice on Mars (photo at right shows the Phoenix as it touched down). That same night, I watched the 2005 movie version of H.G. Wells's War of the Worlds. Directed by Steven Spielberg and starring Tom Cruise, the movie adheres to Wells's original vision in many ways, as did the 1953 film. Unlike the original film and the book, however, the latest remake never calls the aliens Martians. Probes such as Phoenix have alleviated our fears that sentient life hides on Mars, waiting for its chance to annihilate us.

H.G. Wells wrote War of the Worlds in 1898. His book stands as the first fictional representation of alien invasion. Since then the theme has become a favorite of Hollywood, giving us popcorn-worthy movies like Earth vs. the Flying Saucers and Independence Day. All the invasion movies share a common theory—that any aliens who would bother traveling to Earth would do so to conquer us.

A common theme among UFO researchers, particularly the disclosure crowd, proclaims that aliens are here and they love us. Okay, they don't say “love” but that's the gist of it. The aliens come here to warn us about our own self-destructive tendencies. They avoid overt contact with humans because they fear our violence. I would love to endorse this theory. However, the evidence simply doesn't bear out the hippie-dippy notion.

Does abducting humans to conduct painful experiments, traumatizing them for years afterward, herald the coming of benevolent beings? Does watching us for centuries or millennia without introducing themselves represent the actions of peace-loving beings? Flying UFOs over our cities, taunting us with their superior technology, hardly seems sweet and fluffy either. We aren't talking about extraterrestrial kittens.

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We've all heard conspiracy theories. Did Lee Harvey Oswald act alone? Did John Wilkes Booth act alone? Did a missile shoot down TWA Flight 800? Some of the theories have validity, while others stem solely from the human imagination—and paranoia. The paranormal, and particularly ufology, seems to inspire more conspiracy theories than any other area of research.

Now I enjoy a good conspiracy theory. I even like the movie Conspiracy Theory (starring Mel Gibson). But some conspiracy theories irritate me, especially when the theory assumes that we humans lack the intelligence and know-how to take care of ourselves. Case in point: the silly conspiracy theory that says the B-2 stealth bomber uses reverse-engineered alien technology.

My father worked on the B-2 project. We lived in California during the 1980s, when my dad got a job at Northrup working on a black project which I would later learn was the B-2 Spirit—the stealth bomber. My father assures me no alien technology went into the making of the B-2. Now I expect the die-hard conspiracy junkies will leap onto that statement like coyotes on a rabbit. “He lies!” they'll exclaim. “He's sworn to secrecy and will be killed if he tells you the truth!” they will shout.

Hogwash. Yes, parts of the B-2's design remain classified. My dad can't discuss those aspects. However, when he tells me unequivocally that the B-2 has no alien technology, I believe it. Conspiracy theories spread like viruses because one can never disprove them. Everyone who presents evidence to the contrary is a liar or dupe. The people who present unsubstantiated claims in support of the theory are enlightened and brave.

I'm no fan of the government (any government). Still, I seriously doubt the military has reverse engineered alien technology for use in its aircraft. If the military had managed to reverse engineer alien stuff, you'd think our technology would have advanced far faster than it has. Why are our soldiers dying in Iraq if we have cracked the secrets of alien technology?

A lot of otherwise intelligent people waste inordinate amounts of time on silly conspiracy theories. Meanwhile, the vast majority of UFO sightings reported to UFO research groups go uninvestigated.

Shame on us.

I have several pet peeves—people who mispronounce “nuclear” for one—but in ufology one irritates me more and more lately. When people dismiss glowing orbs as nothing, I find myself growling like my dog does when he sees a porcupine. You see, my dog has encountered porcupines twice, experiences from which he emerged covered in quills. The second time the vet needed two and a half hours to remove all the quills. While the debunking of orbs causes me no physical pain, I get just as tired of responding to the default “explanations” for orbs as my vet must've felt after plucking all those quills.

The default explanations:

• dust particles
• raindrops
• digital artifacts

The third explanation only applies to digital cameras. I have in my possession a photo taken with a regular 35mm camera which shows an orb (see photo at left). As for dust and raindrops, after studying hundreds of orb photos I can detect differences in what I know to be rain or dust and the unidentified orbs. For the moment, though, let's forget the photographed orbs.

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